hi all, a happier entry you'll be pleased to know. i've just looked at the entry i posted just before christmas, i really wasn't in a good place then, i wasn't taking care of myself and was really depressed, and using food as a way to try and make myself feel better. i started CBT in january and that has really helped me to put certain things in place to deal with my anxiety issues. i'd got myself back into a place i never thought i'd go again, quite honestly i hated myself, and thought i was a horrible person for making certain decisions, and knowing that someone that was meant to be a friend had made me feel that way made me feel worse. i just couldn't see a way out. the CBT has helped so much, just knowing i've got different ways to cope when i get anxious makes me feel so much better. a real achievment in that area was my little trip down to london. i will admit i was worried about it, as a blind person you have to put a lot of trust in strangers, and i was going to be sitting in a bar full of people i didn't know. i'm happy to say that it went better than i could've imagined, there are some lovely people in this world, i really enjoyed myself and more importantly felt really good about myself. i've decided i want to go for another cycle of treatment soon, i'm playing it by ear but not too long in the future. i'm going to be going to the gym a lot more and trying to lose some weight, i feel i'm in the right place mentally to do this now, a few months ago i don't think i could've done it. i had my last cbt session today, we both came to the conclusion that i didn't need to go anymore, that feels so good. i'm not completely anxiety free i don't think i'll ever be, but i can deal with it better now. i'd like to say a massive thanks to all my friends that have supported me through all this, i couldn't have done it without you. so onwards and upwards, towards a brighter future.